The Bane of Cell Phones

"I'm on my way, I'll be there soon."  "I'm on my way, I'll be there soon."  "Yes, I'm on my way, I'll be there soon."  These three sentences proclaimed loudly.  Oh, I forgot, there was one more.  "I'm on my way, I'll be there soon."

Was she talking to someone who couldn't hear?  Someone, perhaps, that could not understand?  It doesn't matter to whom she spoke.  She was way too loud and I totally did not care whether she even got to her destination at all.  In fact, had she repeated the offending sentence one more time, I would have assured her that she would not be arriving as she expected.  Or as her listener was expecting.

Before cell phones, friends and family had to wait for our expected arrival.  Before cell phones, we could not update our loved ones with the next impending three seconds of our life.  Before cell phones there was civility.  Oh how I long for civility to return to our society. But I fear, this is a long time in coming.  If ever again.

It's bad when this loud conversation is carried on in English - even if it is English of which the Dominican Nuns would not approve -- read street English.  But it is worse when the conversation is carried on loudly in Mandarin or Farsi or Polish.  I have nothing against people that don't speak English - but do they have to do it so loudly?  All these folks, English speaking and foreign born that have not yet learned the language of the country they have decided to make their own, are equally annoying.  Why do people talk so loudly on cell phones?

They do fall into types - trust me.

1.   "I can't stand the silence around me so I have to call everyone that I know that has a 10-digit phone number." I ask you, what is so frightening about the sounds of silence? The sounds of your own thoughts?  For some, there is a mortal fear of quiet.  Take the man I had the mis-fortune of sitting next to on a 55-minute bus ride.  Having finished one call, and thus giving me hope for silence, he proceeded to phone every number in his contacts list.  And this was a man that had a lot of contacts.  Lots of friends.  Too bad he didn't count himself among that group - he could have sat quietly (providing me with peace and him with solitude) but he must have found his own company to be onerous.  He was still talking when I departed the bus 55 minutes later.

2.  "I hate all my friends, and HAVE to phone my mom to let her know."  Okay you are 25 and you hate your roommate - you have choices here. Tell her you hate her - move out - rent another apartment and don't include her in the lease.  At 25 you should be reasonably mature.  Why do you have to spew your aggravation to your mom of all people on a long bus ride.  I don't give a rat's ass how aggravated you are with this woman.  I don't care to hear the history of her sex life.  I don't care to hear that your boyfriend hit on her.  Nor do I give a rip that her boyfriend was entertaining other women in the apartment when she was not there.  TMI - Read my lips.  Too Much Information!

3.  "Okay, I'm as good as you and I can afford this cell phone."  So this person sits there with a jubilant smile on his/her face determined to wreck your ride to wherever.  Because, you see, "He/she can afford that phone."  Okay, get over your inferiority complex.  No one cares anymore that you are a minority with a cell phone - no one is wondering whether you sold drugs to pay for it - plain and simple, no one cares anymore.  They just want your ass to be quiet and try, just TRY to act like your neighbor on the train that is simply reading text messages and not trying to act them out like you have been this entire ride.  Really, like shaking your neck from side to side is going to intimidate whoever is on the other side of the receiver?

4.  "I'm just going to ignore my family because this phone that is so much more important is sitting in my hand."